Is it normal to grieve a house?
Answered by Chris Deutsch, Founder & Editor
Licensed Minnesota Realtor #20382264 ·
The short answer
Completely normal — and there's research behind it. Psychologists call the bond place attachment: a long-held home gets woven into your sense of who you are. Selling it registers as a real loss even when the sale was right.
On stage The 60-second answer
Captions on · Transcript below
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Chris's video answer is on its way. Until then, the short answer above says the same thing.
The transcript posts with the video.
The longer answer
I see it most in people who lived somewhere 20 or 30 years. The sadness often shows up after closing, not before. The busyness of the sale holds it off, and then the quiet lets it in — and it usually softens within a few months. What helps: photograph the rooms before you leave. Walk the house one last time on your own terms, and give yourself permission to feel it without calling it a setback.
And a distinction worth keeping: grieving the house doesn't mean the move was wrong. You can miss a place and still be glad you left it. Both can be true at the same time.
Program notes
Where this answer comes from
Verified . When I get one wrong, I fix the answer and change the date.
The next department over
What people in this spot usually ask next.
- Senior transitionsI know it's time to leave my house, but I don't feel ready. Is that normal?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsOur children are upset we're selling their childhood home. What do we tell them?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsShould we rent out the house instead of selling it to pay for care?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsShould we update the house before selling, or sell it as-is?Read the answer
- Divorce & separationI'm losing my marriage and my house at the same time. Does this ever feel less impossible?Read the answer
- Divorce & separationWhat if I regret selling the house once the divorce is final?Read the answer
From the editor's desk
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