Our children are upset we're selling their childhood home. What do we tell them?
Answered by Chris Deutsch, Founder & Editor
Licensed Minnesota Realtor #20382264 ·
The short answer
Tell them early, tell them why, and let them grieve it — those three things solve most of this. Their sadness is real, but it isn't a veto. It's your house, your maintenance, your winters, and your next chapter.
On stage The 60-second answer
Captions on · Transcript below
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Chris's video answer is on its way. Until then, the short answer above says the same thing.
The transcript posts with the video.
The longer answer
What works in practice: tell them before the sign goes up, not after — surprise reads as betrayal even when the decision is sound. Name the real reason plainly: the house now costs more energy than it gives back. Then give each of them one honest goodbye — a walkthrough, first pick of the keepsakes, photos of their old room. Adult children who get a goodbye almost always come around. The ones who stay upset are usually grieving something bigger than real estate, and that deserves patience, not a canceled listing.
(One thing not to do: don't keep the house just to keep the peace — that trade quietly costs you both.) You're allowed to be the ones who decide.
The next department over
What people in this spot usually ask next.
- Senior transitionsI feel guilty selling the house our children grew up in. Is that normal?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsThe house has been so quiet since my husband died. Will moving actually help?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsI lost my husband last year. Is it too soon to sell the house?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsWe're not ready for a senior community, but this house is too much. What's in between?Read the answer
- Divorce & separationShould I keep the house for the children's sake?Read the answer
- Inheritance & probateMy mom just died and owned a house. What do we do first?Read the answer
From the editor's desk
“As Founder and Editor, I review, correct, and stand behind every answer.”
Is your situation more specific than the market? That's the one worth talking through.