I feel like I'm betraying my parents by selling their house.
Answered by Chris Deutsch, Founder & Editor
Licensed Minnesota Realtor #20382264 ·
The short answer
That feeling has a name — the second goodbye. It's real, it's almost universal among the households I've walked through this, and it does not mean you're doing the wrong thing.
On stage The 60-second answer
Captions on · Transcript below
The stage is set.
Chris's video answer is on its way. Until then, the short answer above says the same thing.
The transcript posts with the video.
The longer answer
A few true things. The house held your parents' lives; it was never the container of them, and selling it doesn't undo a single Sunday dinner that happened inside. The memories move with you. And your parents' hope was never that the house would become a weight their children carried out of guilt — a home kept as a museum nobody can afford to visit honors no one. Most households tell me the same thing a few months after closing: the grief stayed, the dread lifted, and they could finally remember the house instead of managing it.
There's no clock on this, and nobody should hand you one. When you're ready — even if ready is a year away — just call. The first conversation is only a conversation.
The next department over
What people in this spot usually ask next.
- Inheritance & probateMy mom just died and owned a house. What do we do first?Read the answer
- Inheritance & probateHow do we even start clearing out 50 years of our parents' lives?Read the answer
- Inheritance & probateMom was on Medical Assistance. Will the state take the house?Read the answer
- Inheritance & probateWe live out of state. Can we sell Mom's Minneapolis house without flying back?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsMy parents have a reverse mortgage. What happens when they sell?Read the answer
- Senior transitionsEveryone keeps telling me to "downsize." Why does that word feel so bad?Read the answer
From the editor's desk
“As Founder and Editor, I review, correct, and stand behind every answer.”
Is your situation more specific than the market? That's the one worth talking through.