What's the difference between principle and value in real estate negotiations?

I've watched buyers walk away from a home they loved because the seller wouldn't come down another $5,000 on a $600,000 purchase. The buyer felt like giving in meant losing. What they actually lost was the house. Over 0.8% of the purchase price. That's principle overriding value, and it's expensive.

I've also watched sellers refuse reasonable repair credits after an inspection because they were offended the buyers asked. The buyers weren't attacking the house. They were doing their job. But the seller took it personally, dug in, and nearly killed the deal over $1,500 in credited repairs.

Negotiation in real estate isn't a contest. There's no winner and loser at closing — there's a transaction that happened or one that didn't. My job is to help you stay focused on what you're actually trying to accomplish: the right house at a number that works, or the cleanest sale at the best price the market will support.

When I feel a negotiation starting to shift from value to principle, I'll say something. Not to push you — to make sure you're making the choice you want to make with clear eyes, not in the heat of the moment.