How do I help aging parents with real estate decisions?

The first thing I'd tell you is to slow down, even when the situation feels urgent. Adult children often feel more pressure to act than the parents actually feel — and moving too fast, or pushing too hard, can damage the relationship and leave your parent feeling like they lost control of something that was theirs. Their home isn't just real estate. It may be the last major thing in their life that still feels entirely under their control.

The most useful thing you can do early is have a conversation about preferences, not logistics. Not 'we need to think about your housing' but 'what does a good day look like for you, and what would need to change about where you live to have more of those days?' That's a different conversation, and it tends to go differently.

If the decision involves selling the family home, I'd encourage you to let your parent lead that process as much as possible — even when it moves slower than you'd like. Being involved in the decisions, walking through a home they've lived in for decades with someone who treats it with respect, choosing what comes with them and what doesn't — that matters.

I've walked through this with a lot of people. There's no script that works every time. But if you'd find it helpful to talk through where things stand — even just to think out loud about the options — I'm a good person to have that conversation with. No agenda. Just a straight read on what you're looking at.